I'm not alright, but

As I write this, my chin is red and somewhat swollen, stinging periodically from an eczema outbreak.

For weeks and months, I've suffered nausea, migraines, sleepless nights, itchy, unsightly skin, dizziness, heaviness of heart and mind... the list goes on and on, my list of health complaints and weaknesses, still unresolved after years of careful eating and "clean living".

Spiritually and emotionally, I've been sick as well, restlessly busy and longing for quiet, rushing from one task to another, unable to stop then unable to go on.

I'm not alright, but...

• Neither was John Calvin! He and many effective Christian ministers were beset with trials within and without. But being weak and sickly never stopped anyone from glorifying God!
• Neither was Jesus! He suffered what no other human could have endured. The horrors were such that he wanted to escape if he could, but prayed, "yet not my will, but Yours"

So as I suffer (to a much lesser degree) and dread, and fear, I will join Jesus in the refrain,

"Oh take this cup away from me!
Yet not my will, but Yours.
Yet not my will, but Yours."

I will pray for the same heart to be in me as was in Christ Jesus:

What took him to this wretched place?
What kept him on this road?
 His love for Adam's cursed race, for every broken soul

May love of God and man be central in every act of service, every sacrifice, in every tear that falls from these eyes as it prepares for service.

I, too, will drink my poison cup, to die that I may live to Christ.